You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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