Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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