Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I want to have your abortion
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
