office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
