i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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