The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
