playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
