So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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