I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
