i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize