just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
