I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
