I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
