I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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