Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize