I feel like abortions should bother me more
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
