I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
