Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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