Apparently you make a good broom.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
where are you?
Hypothermia
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
