Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
