All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
