We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
