I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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