you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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