Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
