sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
