I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
