Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
