I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
