please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
