Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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