Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
