The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
