I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
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