my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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