You work out of a Hotel?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
