your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Houston, we have a squirter
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
