You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
