Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
