Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
