nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
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