I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
