I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
