Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
