u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
