One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
