You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
