Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
