So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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