Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
