Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
