I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's Friday. Sex?
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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