shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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