At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
