Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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