If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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