We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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