Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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