We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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