There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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