Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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