Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
