Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(904): View more from Florida

Was it cool?

(1-904): View more from Florida

About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.

Fav 31 1073 7903
share tweet
(901): View more from Tennessee

why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

Fav 16 2421 2444
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(530): View more from California

He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

Fav 39 1408 16147
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you

Fav 15 5764 1453
share tweet
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug

Fav 3 998 3209
share tweet
(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.

Fav 12 4677 1302
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(518): View more from New York

My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.

Fav 5 1990 812
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(925): View more from California

Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.

Fav 0 681 395
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(+61): View more from Australia

I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up

Fav 0 31 2
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT