she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
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You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.