he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.