ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
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