My friends, they love my intelligence
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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