He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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