Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
