i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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