my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
