Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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