I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I am naked and annoyed.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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